Mental health includes our emotional, psychological, and social well-being. It affects how we think, feel, and act. It also helps determine how we handle stress, relate to others, and make choices. It is important at all life stages.
In a sense, mental health is like the weather: it is the emotional and psychological climate in which we live. Like the weather, it is affected by systems moving through, sometimes fine, sometimes overcast, sometimes stormy. Mental health, therefore, is our interaction with the context and events of our lives. It is affected by our life situation and the amount of support and control we have.
Mental health is about coping with the challenges of life: from bereavement to job stress to relationship problems. Strong support networks and financial security can help a person cope with mental health problems, whereas living in poverty or abuse, with little control over circumstances, places serious strain on someone's mental health. Income, housing, health, education and employment - or the lack of these - are key factors affecting our sense of well-being.
Via the Canadian Mental Health Association national website.
Mental Illness vs Mental Health
Mental health and mental illness are often used interchangeably, but they are not the same thing.
While mental health is always there and may be positive or negative, mental illness affects a person's ability to function over a long period of time. Mental illness is not the same as feeling sad, unhappy, or stressed because of difficult situations.
It’s important to know that it is possible to have good mental health even if you have a mental illness. Just like with other conditions, many people with mental illness experience tough times but they can also have periods of better or good mental health. Taking care of your mental health is important for everyone.
How do I start a conversation about someone’s mental health when they’re struggling?
Be prepared: Think about the different reactions, positive and negative, that the person might have so you’re prepared. The person will be thinking about their perception of mental health, you as a person and how the two fit together.
Choose a good time: Choose a time and place when you feel comfortable and ready to talk.
Be ready for lots of questions...or none: The person you are talking to might have lots of questions or need further information to help them understand. Or they might feel uncomfortable and try to move the conversation on – if this happens it’s still helpful that the first step has been taken.
An initial reaction might not last: The person might initially react in a way that’s not helpful – maybe changing the subject, using clichés rather than listening. But give them time.
Have some information ready: Sometimes people prefer to explore and learn more about mental health in their own time, or are too overwhelmed to do their own research. Please feel free to stop by the Wellness Centre where one of our staff can help you to select some information and resource pamphlets to give to them directly. You can also offer to explore resources together.
Keep it light: We know that sometimes people are afraid to talk about mental health because they feel they don’t know what to say or how to help. So keeping the conversation light will help make you both feel relaxed.
Take up opportunities to talk: If someone asks you about your mental health, don’t shy away, be yourself and answer honestly.
Courage is contagious: Often once mental health is out in the open people want to talk. Don’t be surprised if your honesty encourages other people to talk about their own experiences.
How can I support someone who is struggling with their mental health?
Talk, but listen too: Simply being there will mean a lot.
Keep in touch: Meet up, phone, e-mail, or text.
Don't just talk about mental health: Chat about everyday things as well.
Remind them you care: Small things can make a big difference.
Be patient: Ups and downs can happen.
Be mindful of your own mental health: You can’t pour from an empty cup. Actively take steps to ensure that your well-being and your boundaries are respected, and consider what kind of support you can and can’t offer based on where you’re at.
"But what can I do for them?"
Take the lead: If you know someone has been unwell, don’t be afraid to ask how they are. They might want to talk about it, they might not. But just letting them know they don’t have to avoid the issue with you is helpful.
Avoid clichés: Phrases like ‘Cheer up’, ‘I’m sure it’ll pass’ and ‘Pull yourself together’ won’t help. Try to be open minded and non-judgmental. You won't always understand what's going on for the other person, but lending an ear is the important part.
Think about body language: Try to be relaxed and open. It probably goes without saying that a gaping mouth, regular clock watching or looking uncomfortable won’t go unnoticed.
Ask how you can help: People will want support at different times in different ways, so ask how you can help. However, people may not know what they need or have the ability to express their needs, so having some suggestions of what you can offer them might be an even better way to help. Offering to accompany them to seek help, bringing them a meal or drink, going for a walk together or dropping off a little care package are some examples you could suggest.
Don’t just talk about mental health: Keep in mind that having a mental health problem is just one part of the person. People don't want to be defined by their mental health problem so keep talking about the things you always talked about. Just spending time with the person lets them know you care and can help you understand what they're going through.
Don’t avoid the issue: If someone comes to you to talk, try not to brush them off. Asking for support can be a hard step to take.
Give them time: Some people might prefer a text or email rather than talking on the phone or face to face. This means they can get back to you when they feel ready. What’s important is that they know you’ll be there when they’re ready to get in touch.
Find out more: If you anticipate feeling awkward, nervous or uncomfortable about mental health - that is totally normal and ok! Take the time to learn more about mental health for the benefit of yourself and others. Wellness Centre staff are always happy to introduce you to community resources and to chat peer to peer.
Is there a list of things I should/should not say?
“I can’t imagine what you’re going through.”
“People do get better.”
“Can I drive you to an appointment?”
“How are you feeling today?”
“I love you.”
“We’ve all been there.”
“You’ve got to pull yourself together.”
“Maybe try thinking happier thoughts.”
“Oh man, that sucks.”
DO SAY:
“Thanks for opening up to me.”
“Is there anything I can do to help?”
“How can I help?”
“Thanks for sharing.”
“I’m sorry to hear that. It must be tough.”
“I’m here for you when you need me.”
DON'T SAY:
“It could be worse..”
“Just deal with it.”
“Snap out of it.”
“Everyone feels that way sometimes.”
“You may have brought this on yourself.”
Via “Lets Erase the Stigma”, www.letserasethestigma.com/what-is-mental-health